All Emotions Are Welcome
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Emotions occur at every point in our day. Sometimes even as adults emotions can over take us and cause us to lose a bit of our control. This happens often for young children, who are still working on self-regulation. That is why it is important to not react negatively when children are displaying strong emotions. When a child is upset it is important to approach the child calmly, talk to the child and help them identify what they are feeling and possible solutions; all the while giving them enough time to work through their emotions. This process might take 5 minutes or twenty minutes, it depends on the child and the context of what is happening around them. The important thing to remember is that this is natural and normal and therefore the child should not be criticized or dismissed. When approaching the child try saying things like, "I see that you are crying. You must be very upset. would you like to talk about it?" If the child does not respond but is not hurting themselves or any one around them, let them know that you will be watching them and will come back a little bit later to check in. When you come back ask again if they need help. This established a sense of security but still allows the child to process their emotions.
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Pick A Spot |
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When Children are over come with emotions it is easy to over react and lash out. When a child is displaying physical and aggressive actions due to how they are feeling this can put them and others in danger. For this reason, it is important to have a safe and quite spot in the house that children can process their emotions and discuss them with a caring adult. This can be a comfortable spot on the couch or maybe their favorite spot in their room that you and the child have chosen together. Try not to have the spot near their toys or other items that are easily grabbed and thrown. Ask the child what helps them feel calm and safe These items can be used to help them self-regulate when they are utilizing this spot. It is important to remember that this is not a time out. This is an option for the child. If they are not being destructive or harmful they should be able to work through their emotions where they are, but when discussing emotions and solutions together you can redirect the child to their preferred spot. The constant practice of using a comfortable spot helps build self-regulation skills.
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Just Breath
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When young children are under emotional distress it can be difficult for them to regain control on themselves in order to self-regulate. In early childhood, we see this manifest as loud crying, labored breathing, and/or physical outbursts. While a child is under distress it is important to realize that no productive conversation is going to take place. A young child needs to return to feeling safe and comfortable before they can identify their emotions and discuss their feelings. One way to comfort a young child and help them get back a healthy emotional state is to focus on their breathing. Start by making eye contact and seeking to comfort the child. Next model regular breathing and a breathing strategy. For an example of a breathing strategy, click on the button below.
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